Break Out Of The Shell Of Rejection: Four Golden Rules of Fearless Living

Bonnie Gray
http://www.faithbarista.com/2012/03/break-out-of-the-shell-of-rejection-four-golden-rules-of-fearless-living/

“The choices are never easy.
We can nurse wounds of having been cheated in life, or we can be grateful and joyful, even though there seems to be little reason for it.
It is this power to choose that adds dignity to our humanity.”

~ Gerald Sittser, Professor of Christian Spirituality

The other day, someone asked me whether I was a Glass-Half-Full or Glass-Half-Empty type of person. I hadn’t been asked that in a while and stopped to think about it.

“Well… I used to totally see the glass half full when I was younger. Until I got burned living that way.

I became the glass-half-empty type. I started seeing how everything could go wrong, to protect myself against making mistakes.”

The funny thing is, life did seem to get better. I felt more in control. I took pride in successfully predicting how the chips would fall.

But, I noticed a side-affect of such “smart” living.
I started losing my edge. My faith edge.

I started disappearing in a shroud of avoiding rejection — whether it was relational or taking risks with new things.
Changes were subtle, but my consistent picks to stay safe yielded a life of predictability… creating a wall of people-pleasing, fearful calculations that made spontaneity and joy pretty scarce.
Thank God, my memories of the glass-half-full life came back to bug me every so often. In the form of… regrets.

The Greater Pain Of Regret

I hid myself from the possibility of pain so well, I reached a point where the pain of regret outgrew the pain of rejection.
I got it wrong. I will be burned regardless of how I saw the water in my glass. Rejection is a universal human experience.
The difference in living a fearless life versus a fearful life, however, was unmistakable.
One seeks out the good, while the other lives to control the bad.

The Four Golden Rules

Will I live creating a trail of regrets on what I coulda-woulda done?
Or will I choose to live, trying to be fearless, and actually do this thing called life?
I came up with The Four Golden Rules of Fearless Living and started coming out of my shell:

1. Choose the Harder Choice.

2. Keep It Real With Others.

3. Practice Seeing the Glass-Half-Full.

4. Pray For Courage To Make Mistakes.

These four pointers challenged me to keep my faith edges sharp.

Keep That Faith Edge Sharp

Each time we attempt one of the above, we are exercising faith.

We risk rejection for the opportunity to live true to the desires God’s placed in us.

We exercise choice, trusting that God’s plan for us is bigger than our mistakes.

It’s ultimately a question of whether we trust in God’s goodness.
Will He:

– Catch me when I fall?

– Replenish friends if I’m betrayed?

– Heal my broken bones if I’m hurt?

– Restock the storehouses if I’m robbed?

– Still bless me, when I make mistakes?

I’m not saying it’s easy, but man, consider the alternative.
Acquiescing to fear might seem easier. But, the cost to living less than the life God intended is also steeper than it appears.
I still get hurt, but I am learning to love my glass half-full.

Whenever I’m tempted to go back to the way I was, I return to the One who drank the cup that looked half empty one dark night.

He fills my cup every time.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.
But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.
~ Jesus, Luke 9:24

We Are, Kari Jobe

It's Not Your Party by Paul Tripp

Excerpt from "Survival Skill 1" by Paul Tripp http://www.paultrippministries.org/survivalskill1

I was, for four years, a Kindergarten teacher. They were the four longest years of my life! Actually, they were very enjoyable. Anyway, during that period of time, one of the moms of one of the children in the class wanted to have a birthday party for her daughter. She asked if she could use the school classroom and I said, “Sure, as long as you invite everyone, that’s fine.”
     Well after school, the day of the birthday party, she turned that classroom into Birthday Kingdom. There was one long table going down the middle of the classroom and at the end of the table was a chair for the birthday girl. And in front of her, on the table, were a bunch of presents. An amazing pile of presents! Sitting around the rest of the table were the children who were attending the party; and what they had was a sandwich bag of party favors. Now the purpose of a party favor is to remind you that it’s not your party!
     Little Johnny, sitting at the very end, directly across from Suzie the birthday girl, was looking at his bag of party favors, and looking at her pile of gifts he was getting very angry. He was her-umphing. Fffff. Ffffff. He couldn’t believe it! He was looking at his bag of two Tootsie Rolls, a lollypop, and a plastic whistle, and he was getting angrier and angrier as he looked at the pile of gifts that Suzie had.
     Finally, one of the parents who was helping at the party, had had enough, and she came down to Johnny’s end of the table, turned Johnny’s chair towards her, knelt down, and she said these deeply theological words to Johnny. She looked him in the eye and said, “Johnny, it’s not your party.”
     You see, that’s what origins tell you. When you go back to the beginning, that’s what you’re confronted with: life is not your party. Life is bigger than your marriage, bigger than your job, bigger than your garden, your car, your vacations, or that great steak. Life is bigger than you. You see, Jesus came, not to make your little kingdom work, but Jesus came to invite you to a bigger Kingdom. God created you. God owns you. God has a design for your life. Life is about his plan, his purpose, his will and his wisdom. You’ll never understand life until you understand that it’s not your party!

Daily Spurgeon March 1st

"Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out."—Song of Solomon 4:16.

NYTHING is better than the dead calm of indifference. Our souls may wisely desire the north wind of trouble if that alone can be sanctified to the drawing forth of the perfume of our graces. So long as it cannot be said, "The Lord was not in the wind," we will not shrink from the most wintry blast that ever blew upon plants of grace. Did not the spouse in this verse humbly submit herself to the reproofs of her Beloved; only entreating Him to send forth His grace in some form, and making no stipulation as to the peculiar manner in which it should come? Did she not, like ourselves, become so utterly weary of deadness and unholy calm that she sighed for any visitation which would brace her to action? Yet she desires the warm south wind of comfort, too, the smiles of divine love, the joy of the Redeemer's presence; these are often mightily effectual to arouse our sluggish life. She desires either one or the other, or both; so that she may but be able to delight her Beloved with the spices of her garden. She cannot endure to be unprofitable, nor can we. How cheering a thought that Jesus can find comfort in our poor feeble graces. Can it be? It seems far too good to be true. Well may we court trial or even death itself if we shall thereby be aided to make glad Immanuel's heart. O that our heart were crushed to atoms if only by such bruising our sweet Lord Jesus could be glorified. Graces unexercised are as sweet perfumes slumbering in the cups of the flowers: the wisdom of the great Husbandman overrules diverse and opposite causes to produce the one desired result, and makes both affliction and consolation draw forth the grateful odours of faith, love, patience, hope, resignation, joy, and the other fair flowers of the garden. May we know by sweet experience, what this means.

Justice, Gary Haugen

http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/gary-haugen-justice

The Struggle for Love, Tim Keller

http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/struggle-love

Confession is a Grace, Paul Tripp