Forgiveness as the Key

Lisa Barry: I wonder how many of us were truly prepared for what marriage would be like? We sit so proudly in pre-marital counseling and agree to do all sorts of things. But what we never saw were the assumptions made about what the other person would do or not do. As a result, marriage can quickly turn from bliss to heartache. And where is God in all of this? Well, today on Gateway To Joy Elisabeth Elliot begins a brand new series about transformed marriages. The good news is this, the word transformed means that a marriage can go from bad to great. So even if you think your marriage is beyond repair, you might just need a transformation instead. Let’s find out more as we begin this Monday edition of Gateway to Joy.
Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That’s what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking with you today and all of this week about marriages that have been transformed. Actually I think I have four transformed marriage stories and I think maybe I have a missionary story also.
But let's get on with the very first one which comes from a book that was written way back pretty close to a hundred years ago, I guess, by Elisabeth Prentiss. Some of you have read her wonderful little book called Stepping Heavenward. And I would strongly recommend that every woman read that book. Married, single, mother, young, old, whatever--Stepping Heavenward is a magnificent little book. It's ostensibly a diary written by a young girl starting at age 16. I have a strong suspicion that it is pretty much a personal account of Elisabeth Prentiss' own testing and growth and spiritual life.
Well, she's written more than one book, and another one which has been brought back into print is Aunt Jane's Hero. Well, I'm not going to read the book to you, but I do want to read the opener which describes a transformed marriage.
The book itself describes a transformed marriage, but it is a deep and bewildering experience of the meaning of the cross. I often speak about the cross, I mean I intend to speak about the cross again and again, because that is the central point of the Christian life, isn't it? Many churches have a cross at the front of the church. Why? Well, it is that cross on which our Savior died. And without His willingness to go to that cross where would we be.
And so this little book, Aunt Jane's Hero, describes this transformed marriage, but it came not easily at all, but by a deep experience of the meaning of the cross. "They had had a close call with death itself--a priceless and painful experience--which opens their eyes and changes their understanding of suffering.
"They were living to themselves. Self with its hopes and promises and dreams still had hold of them. But the Lord began to fulfill their prayers. They had asked for contrition. He sent them sorrow. They had asked for purity. And He sent them anguish. They had asked to be meek. And He had broken their hearts. They had asked to be dead to the world. And He slew all their living hopes. They had asked to be made like unto Him. And He placed them in the furnace, sitting by as a Refiner of silver till they should reflect His imagine. They had asked to lay hold of His cross. And when He had reached it to them, it lacerated their hands. They had asked they knew not what nor how. But He had taken them at their word and granted them all their petitions.
"They were hardly willing to follow on so far or to draw so nigh to Him. They had upon them an awe and fear, as Jacob at Bethel or Eliphaz in the night visions, or as the apostles when they thought they had seen a spirit and knew not that it was Jesus. They could almost pray to Him to depart from them or to hide His awfulness. They found it easier to obey than to suffer, to do than to give up, to bear the cross than to hang upon it. But they cannot go back for they have come too near the unseen cross, and its virtues have pierced too deeply within them.
"God is fulfilling to them His promise, 'And I, if I be lifted up will draw all men unto Me.' But now at last their turn is come. Before they had only heard of the mystery, but now they feel it. He has fastened on them His look of love as He did on Mary and Peter. And they cannot but choose to follow.
"Little by little--from time to time--by fleeting gleams, the mystery of His cross shines upon this couple. They behold Him lifted up. They gaze on the glory which rays forth from the wounds of His holy passion. And as they gaze they advance and are changed into His likeness. And His name shines out through them for He dwells in them. They live alone with Him above in unspeakable fellowship, willing to lack what others own and to be unlike all so that they're only like Him.
"Such are they in all ages who follow the Lamb whither so ever He goeth. Had they chosen for themselves or their friends chosen for them, they would have chosen otherwise. They would have been brighter here, but less glorious in His kingdom. They would have Lot's portion not Abraham's. If they had halted anywhere, if He had taken off His hand and let them stray back, what would they not have lost? What forfeits in the morning of the resurrection? But Christ stayed them even against themselves.
"Many a time their foot had well nigh slipped. But He in mercy held them up. Now even in this life they know that all He did was done well. It was good for them to suffer here, for they shall reign hereafter. It was good for them to bear the cross below, for they shall wear the crown above. And it was good for them that not their will but His was done on them."
And just one little treasure from the book itself. That was all the introduction to the book. They're having a conversation. She says, "Yes, it has puzzled me." And her husband says, 'But I understand it, and so do all who have a similar experience or have observed it in others. God does not give before hand the grace with which to bear His blows. He does not heal before He smites.
"'In your terror at the thought of parting with Horace, you left entirely out of the account the sustaining power that would hold you up and bear you through those awful moments. You suffered in advance and wholly in your own strength. But how many persons I have heard say, "I am a marvel to myself. This blow, so long dreaded, has not slain me as I ever believed it would. I stagger under it, but I live to wonder at the strength God gives me and in which I bear it."
"'Just as the mass of people dread death and declare that they shall shrink from it at the last, yet for all that the dying grace comes in the dying hour.' They sat down together in silence, but it was silence before God.
"Then Aunt Jane said, 'There is just one thing I want to say, if you can bear it, darling. Could you believe, if you did not know it, that out of a repulsive caterpillar there could emerge a bright-winged butterfly? But I want you to believe, because I know it's true, that joy emerges from sorrow.'"
Another story of a transformed marriage from a lady named Alison. "Thank you for your discussion of forgiveness. I download your program from the Internet and enjoy a moment with you and our Lord. Forgiveness as been the key to spiritual growth in my life. Jesus has shown me that it is possible to forgive even when the sentiment is not reciprocated or appreciated.
"Because I have chosen to follow Christ's example of unmerited forgiveness, I have been able to overcome anger, bitterness and self-pity. These emotions were choking me and I was becoming resentful of my husband and children as well as most other people I interacted with regularly.
"I would cry out, 'Lord, this forgiveness issue is not fair. No one is asking for my forgiveness and they continue to hurt me.' He waited patiently and did not respond in the way I wanted Him to. I wanted my offenders to feel overwhelmed with guilt so that they'd seek my forgiveness. Rather, He allowed my power to slip away until I realized I needed His forgiveness.
"In tears I sank to my knees and confessed my selfish ambitions and vindictive thoughts and I sang in my heart the chorus, 'It's not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord.' And His Spirit cleansed me, restored me to a right relationship with Him. I am no longer controlled by a desire for fairness or justification. Rather, I am compelled to pray for those who hurt me.
"As I grow closer to Jesus, I am finding that I have fewer incidences of hurt because my focus has changed from 'What do I not have that other people have' to 'Lord, how can you use me to reach others?' The answer to these prayers will glorify the Lord. What better purpose has anyone?
Lisa Barry: It’s a powerful way to begin this series and I’m happy to say there’s more to come tomorrow. Early in the program, Elisabeth mentioned a book that she thinks very highly of. It’s called Stepping Heavenward written by Elizabeth Prentiss. If you want to see the joy of obedience lived out in a person’s life, this book is for you. It’s written in a collection of journal entries that are easy to read and yet profound in their wisdom. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what a departure this book is from the sort you see at popular bookstores. The title again is Stepping Heavenward and the cost is $14.50. To purchase it, you can send that along with your request to:
Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, NE 68501. Or call toll-free, 1-800-759-4JOY. That’s 1-800-759-4569. Or you can also find us on the Internet at gatewaytojoy.org.
Gateway to Joy is a listener supported production of Back to the Bible. You can be a part of this ministry as you support us through your prayers and gifts. Gateway to Joy relies on the generosity of its listeners to keep these programs on the air. So I hope we’ll hear from you today. Tomorrow Elisabeth shares a story about resurrected love. Be sure and join us for the next Gateway to Joy.