Formula For Forgiveness

Elisabeth Elliot: Am I speaking to someone who has been abused, abandoned, divorced, cheated, lied about, deceived by a business partner, rejected by your children, your spouse, your parents, the church people? Forgive, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Lisa Barry: Do those words seem easy to say but hard to do? Forgiveness always seems like a good idea when we're telling someone else to do it. But when the time comes for us to forgive, the task seems unbearable. What are we supposed to do with all those memories? What happens when that instant replay reminds us over and over of how we were mistreated? Is it naive to think that we could really forgive someone when our emotions rage with bitterness? Today on Gateway to Joy, Elisabeth Elliot continues talking about a formula for forgiveness. Take out a pencil and paper, and jot down the formula. Or keep out that pencil and write out our address and phone number for additional resources at the end of today's program. And now, here's Elisabeth Elliot to get us started. Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That’s what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking about forgiveness. I’ve read several wonderful letters from men who have been able, through the grace of God, to forgive. Here’s another one. A very nice letter from a man who tells me that it has been a privilege listening to Gateway to Joy. He said, "I’ve always been a believer in our Lord Jesus Christ. You through God have given me patience, peace, wisdom and trust that I no longer had 22 months ago. You have made me aware of the true relationship between a man and a woman, a wife and a husband. You see, I will end up doing two years and one month and one week for beating my wife. Upon my arrival here, I was filled with self-pity, jealousy, anger and all the other negative feelings that Satan could cause me to experience. Two mornings after being locked up, my wife began living with a man half my age. I will be 53 years old this March. In God’s time, He made a way for me to come back to Him. I will cherish these times here and remember them well. It has been and will continue to be the way back to our Lord Jesus Christ. I have asked God for His forgiveness, and I believe He has forgiven me. I’d like to call these days I spend here? God’s school days. I shall always keep this godly wisdom within me. I have also heard from my wife. She wants to give me another chance. I know that this all came about through Jesus Christ’s love and forgiveness for me. He has given me another blessing that I may return to my wife and five-year-old son and three-year-old daughter. In closing, I will continue prayers for you and all the others that you may reach continuously to bring people, as myself, back to our Lord Jesus Christ." Thank you so much, Ted, for your letter. It’s an inspiration; I’m sure, to a number of people. I do get many letters from prisoners. If prison doesn’t do anything else for you, it certainly gives you time to ponder and think, doesn’t it? Think through the past. Think about what you want to aim at in the future. Of course, right there in your cell you can receive Jesus Christ as your Savior. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’re in there for? And usually people don’t tell me in their letters what it is that they’re there for? It doesn’t make any difference to God. The grace is greater than all our sin. We used to sing a hymn in family devotions at home, "Marvelous grace of our loving Lord, grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt. Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured, there where the blood of the Lamb was spilt." Yesterday I gave three things that one can do in order to forgive that person who has done something which you might think is unforgivable. So I will review them briefly. The first thing that you have to do if you’re going to forgive that person is to receive the grace of God. Until you receive grace from God and His forgiveness of you, you will not be in a position to forgive somebody else. The second thing? Acknowledge the wrong. Name it, whatever it was. Name it in the presence of Christ. Be straightforward with Him. Number three; lay down all your rights. Forgiveness is the unconditional laying down of the self. And now, number four? What to do to or for that person. A), under four. Here I am talking like a schoolteacher now. I have an outline? 1, 2, 3, 4, and then four points underneath number four. So the first one is "If that person asks forgiveness, forgive." Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us." In other words, Jesus is saying, "You must give to that other person exactly the measure of grace that you are expecting Me," God is saying, "to forgive you for." All of us know that we have sinned against God many more times than we have ever sinned against people. The second thing to do for that person is if he does not forgive you, forgive him anyway in a private transaction with God. Number three, pray for him. And number four; ask for grace to treat that person as if nothing had ever happened. Stand with Christ for him.  My brother, Phil Howard, was a missionary up in Northwest Territory in Canada. When he first went up there, he could not gain the trust of the slave Indians? People who had seemed to receive nothing from white men except evil. So of course, my brother being another white man, they took it for granted that he was there to do them in. It took my brother almost two years to gain the confidence of the Indians. Shortly after he succeeded, the government sent a man there to start a school. This man of course was seen in the same light that my brother was seen? As a man who has come to exploit them. So this man of course was very isolated and became very jealous that he did not have the confidence of the Indians in the way that my brother Phil did. So he became very vindictive. He had a very powerful weapon against my brother in his two hands. The government sent all the welfare checks to John, the teacher. So John made an announcement that any Indian who had anything whatsoever to do with Phil Howard would not qualify to receive his social security check. Can you imagine how long it took for that to take shape? Well, you can bet your bottom dollar that my brother Phil did not see another Indian for a long time. Now how do you think Phil felt toward John? He was praying one day, realizing that his prayers were bouncing back from the ceiling. He said, "Lord, what’s wrong?" The Lord reminded him of that verse that says, "Love your enemies. Do good to them that hate you. Pray for them that despitefully use you." Phil said to the Lord, "Lord, I can’t love him. You’re going to have to do that for me and through me. I can certainly pray for him [that’s the second thing]. I will do that. But I don’t know of anything good that I can do for him. Will You show me?" It was not very long after that that the Lord showed him that the ice was coming in. John was frantically trying to get his boat out of the water down by the riverside. Of course, when the ice comes in a place like Northwest Territory, it comes in with a vengeance. If a boat is stuck in the ice for the winter, it will be smashed to bits in the spring breakup. Phil raced down immediately to the river, realizing that God had indeed answered his prayer. He said to John, "Hang on a minute! I have a winch. My son and I will come down and help you get the boat out." They did so. Now do you suppose that John’s attitude changed immediately toward my brother Phil? It would have been nice, but that’s not what happened. But the government moved John elsewhere. My brother never expected to see him again. But one day on the streets of Edmonton, Alberta, Phil bumped into John. John said to Phil, "Phil, I will never forget what you did for me that day. I hope that God will give us an opportunity to go back to Nahani together, so that I can tell the Indians that I was wrong and you were right." Now what had Phil done? He asked forgiveness. He forgave the man who had trespassed against him. He prayed for him. He did good to him. And by the grace of God, he learned to love that man. The last thing? You must ask for grace to treat that person as if nothing had ever happened. Am I speaking to someone who has been abused, abandoned, divorced, cheated, lied about, deceived by a business partner, rejected by your children, your spouse, your parents, the church people? Are you a victim of misunderstanding? Forgive, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. Now a word about our own repentance. It is not vexation with ourselves. Repentance is not impatience. It’s not wounded pride. It’s not self-pity. It’s not disappointment. Repentance is a complete surrender of my sinfulness to the only One who can cleanse me from all sin, and that is Jesus Christ. There’s an old hymn that says, "What can wash away my sin?" The answer: "Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus." Lisa Barry: And that is something we need to be reminded of daily. To help you with that, we'd like to send you a booklet called AS WE FORGIVE THOSE. You can keep it in your Bible or in your purse as a constant reminder of God's example in complete forgiveness. I'd also like to remind you of our financial needs here at Gateway to Joy. For as much as kind people like you give to this program, in that same amount we are able to keep the message of the Gospel loud and clear. Would you stand and be counted today among the many people who love to hear what Elisabeth is saying? And for those of you who would like to be involved on a deeper level, why not ask for information on becoming a Gatekeeper Partner? There are many ways to help. Find the one that's right for you. Here's our address: Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call toll-free: 1-800-759-4JOY. Or find us on the Web at gatewaytojoy.org. Today’s program has been a production of Back to the Bible. Tomorrow Elisabeth reads another letter from a woman looking for love. Find out what she's learning next time on Gateway to Joy.